Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
that may or may not have been my penis.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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