he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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