She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
