Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
