idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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