I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
