It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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