ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
