Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize