3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
