somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
