tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Randomize
