the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
