i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
soo... how was my night?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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