I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
