I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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