I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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