I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
