apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Randomize
