If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
