I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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