I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
My ass is underappreciated
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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