did you get engaged???
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
