You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
