i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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