They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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