There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
