my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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