Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Alive.
So much puke
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
