You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
