I just saw a hot homeless man
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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