Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
