Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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