Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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