ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
