Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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