We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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