thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
