i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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