You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Randomize
