Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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