last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
