Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
