I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
