so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
