Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
