Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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