She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
