Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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