I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
