so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
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