PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
