Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
