I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
